In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that I am, in fact, English.

OK, I’m actually a strange mixture of English, Scottish and Finnish, but if you were to hear me talk there would be no hiding my Englishness.

As an Englishman playing the quintessentially Scottish instrument, here is what I have observed about the English.

They mostly do not like the pipes.

When I go home to visit, and I play the pipes, the response seems to vary from cool to rude. It’s true, there are a few who like it and even ask me to play more, but these are in the minority. (I’ll tell the story of my exploits in a little English pub soon.) By contrast, I have never received anything less than a totally enthusiastic response from audiences in the U.S. I have a theory about the reason for this.
A large number of the British immigrants to the U.S. were actually Scottish or Irish. They left, in part, because of the horrible treatment they recieved from their English overlords. (The English that emigrated may not have been that fond of their authority figures either.) So, those who left and crossed the Atlantic may well have held dear the very things that their former masters despised. It was part of defining their new identity.

OK, I’m done playing the armchair cultural historian. Anyone care to help me prove or disprove my theory?

Some background:

The British army recently told its pipers to limit their practice sessions to 24 minutes a day, or 15 minutes indoors. According to a health study conducted by the Army Medical Directorate the volume of the pipes is beyond safe levels. Apparently the pipes have the same decibel level as a chainsaw.

Here is what one reader of the newspaper where this story was reported wrote to the editor:

SIR - I am not surprised to read that bagpipes and chainsaws have the same decibel rating. If we have a choice, may I opt for the latter?

More on this later….

OK, so I’ve been thinking of cool tunes to add to my Drive-by piping repertoire. Seems like people always smile when you play a tune they don’t expect to hear on the pipes.

The Pirate of Sainte Mary’s is a piper who busks, and he plays a version of the Star Wars theme. Sounds like it’s a hit with his audience.

I’d like to work up some punk standards on the pipes.

My tiny list so far:

I Fought the Law - The Clash

Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones (honestly, with three notes you can probably make anything by The Ramones work on pipes)

It’s early days yet - any suggestions? I’ll update the list soon….

Adding to what I said earlier about my McCallums, I should tell you about the excellent service I received from the pipe maker.

I blow really wet - it’s kind of gross sometimes. Anyway, a few months back I noticed that the fake ivory end of my blowstick was loose where it screws onto the end of the blackwood. I checked closer and realized that the threaded blackwood area had cracked, from being wet and drying out so many times, I guess. I also had a loose ferrule on one of my drones after moving from New York to Utah, which I figured was also a drying-out issue due to humidity differences between the two places.

I called McCallum to ask their advice and Kenny McCallum (the owner and pipe maker) picked up. He was extremely friendly and helpful - turns out he used to live in California before moving to Scotland to start his business and he even played in Utah a few times. He even offered to replace my blowstick free of charge - despite the fact I didn’t buy the pipes directly from him and they were by then over two years old.

I ended up fixing the problems myself - hey, a real piper can do his own repairs, right? But this was just another reason to believe that this is a nice company to do business with.

Here’s what I’m wrestling with right now:

For the first time in its history, the TV cameras were at the World Pipe Band Championships this year.

The BBC sent a full outside broadcast unit to the event and will broadcast highlights sometime in September. Through the power of the internet we in the USA can watch at least some of the show. Check out a clip of the Field Marshal Montgomery’s winning medley performance: Click on WATCH ONLINE.

There are some good links on this page too.